Requiem Insanity
by RiDoFsTaRs
Summary: Harry stumbles carefully through the gate. He owns the scars and screams of a horrid past. Seeing the bright eyes, smiles and laughter, he stuck to the shadows. Hogwarts was to welcome a very different Potter than it had seen before.
1. Deathly Prelude

Herein ensues much of the darkness that lies in every mortal soul.  
Do not question.

Story....

In life I often question, amid the screams and such, what next, what could life possibly do to me that is worse than this.

In this state, how can I save the world? I used to cry, then the tears left me as did the hope and the joy every kid my age should have.

I am a brooding, serious, and mature person. Am I supposed to be happy, hopeful and carefree?

In my dreams, in my nightmares, I only hear laughter in green lit sky of darkness. This laughter is not some past memory of some early happy memory. This laughter is cruel and mocking.

When all else fails, at night I know I'll hear the screams, the laughter and....the failure. Then I'll wake up...and stare at smiling faces. They torment me, I love them, though I know them not, yet they torment me.

Is eleven years old too young to have a death wish. To imagine a tall dreary tower to fall- to plummet from the sky into dark oblivion?

That raced my mind when he kept beating me, as the blood smeared into my clothes sticking to my battered skin. I am child, a torn soul a small frame, a hero.

I'm not supposed to know this, yet it was easy to deduce. My uncle rips me apart from the inside and before I called out to some kindly outer force to take me away from this Inferno. No one came.

They come every night. Like a puppet I am left on the stage to please strangers. Do they know my name? Can't I walk off and leave this tormented hell?

They take me away. And I almost prayed, I nearly cried as I saw the thick envelope. The green letters so plain yet they were my ticket. My freedom.

I'm more than a face. I am more than what they want me to be. I am Harry Potter. I'm not the "Boy-Who-Lived". The boy they ignored, the one they left to fall into a dark hell, what they have in their hands will be their own demise.

I am the light of this world and the darkness in the shadows of my own beacon. They will trust me. I laugh, I can do nothing more. Yet I know the power withing lurks. So I could stop all the pain.

Yet....

He takes me again. In pain I murmur a wish. The power lurks I know, yet to use it is betrayl into a world I don't wish to know. A world I want to hide in.

And Yet...

That small streak of hope showed up as I was left in London. That hope swelled a bit when in Diagon Alley. I can control my power, so Harry Potter was not at Diagon Alley. And it was not Harry Potter who bought a snowy owl and a serpent.

It was Harry Potter who died.  
Because Harry Potter is not the "boy-who-lived.  
He is only an enigma and he is the darkness that light seeks to hide. 


	2. Leaving and Meeting

**Note: **Wow Thanks for the reviews everyone! Yes it is rather confusing at first, but Harry is in his first year, so all the little details about Hogwarts are assumed. There IS a plot to this and some nice little twists so enjoy! :)

**Straining against the foe I stare into wisdom and plummet into the stars.**

Story....

I wander and loiter until I had to leave. Obviously there was some trick to reaching the train. It's when I convienently see a group of red heads. They were ostensibly loud.

Mentioning, "Muggles" as if they were so inferior. Not that I mind, yet muggles are more logical than most wizards. That counts.

Each one of them slips through a barrier. Im in a silent corner within the shadows. I wait until they disappear.  
then I pass.

This world where I enter. The scarlet train, the Purgatory.

"Is that him?"they whisper. Harry Potter stepped onto the train. I hate all the whispers. How indecent. I am carefully confused and innocent in appearance.

Trailing around, I try to find an empty compartment. I open one with a flamed hair boy. I blanch and leave. That is when....

A pale hand touches my shoulder. I witheld reaction. "Yes?" I hear myself silently question the boy behind me. He is startled, or so I feel, he must not have expected that, then he must not have encountered my preferred phrase: Expect the unexpected.

"well, are you going to answer like a civilized person or gawk like a fish?" i ask again in a sneer as I turn around. He blinks and smirks, "well, well, the Boy-Who-Lived is not a sod after all. That must also mean you're not as lost as I thought you were....care to join my friends and I?" he said eloquently.

No...

I quitely agree. This boy seems more interesting than the red haired boy. Well that wasn't a compliment, the latter boy was as interesting as snail an ostenisbly loud one that is.

I later learn he is Draco Malfoy. His companions are Blaise Zambini, Pansy Parkinson, and Theodore Nott. Better to mention the slightly intelligent one than the other two goons who seem to possess nothing between their ears.

We reach the station. While the older students leave in carriages drawn by "invisible" horses, we have to plow through the lake. The joys of travel never cease.

Toads are really not my forte. They seeem delcious to my snake, she finds them quite the delicacy. I try not to act disgusted, yet I later realize that this actually was the pet of a small clumsy boy.

Pity....

He thinks he's found a toad. Really a transfigured rock. His "toad" will be much better behaved though.

Are they trying to intimidate me? A strict lady in emerald robes briskly leads us to an empty hall. We leave the lake to be left in a hall of silence as ghosts bustle in and out. Perfect.

They also seem to think a battered hat has the answers of fate. So he does, yet at first glance it seems all together ridiculous. "You are destined for greatnes.  
''.......not gryffindor.  
".....such suffering.  
".....to prove yourself.  
".....intelligence.  
'' SLYTHERIN"  
The shocked silence nearly caused me to smirk.  
Nearly.....


	3. Antics

**Notes**: Okay , Im not going to say where Harry stands, just let you assume it'll be fun. This will mostly be in Harry POV and if it seems slightly distorted and such, just bare with. He is abused: beaten, and well the extremety. I'm not much for graphics. He's really intelligent and he has the use of wandless magic. How he knows this will be revealed later on. For clues, try to see it asif you WERE him; he's really just describing in an ambiguous way what happens. What really matters is what he means i mrean ok, you know what Hogwarts looks like, i'll add details to things that aren't part of the original book. As for pairings, it's up for suggestions, It could go any way. Review and suggestwhatpairing...or I _Could_pick which one...that will be amusing to play around with, but I want to care for the opinon of the readers. Just think of this of the first layer..it'll get longer. 

**Starting to see the lies inside of me **

**they know...**

He is glaring at me. I wish to glare back or something, maybe a good hex. Just to stop the staring.

Severus Snape-Snivellus-Snark Bastard. Whatever. I could care less. I was vaguely paying attention the Headmaster. Old fool...it was his fault

"Please not Harry.  
"Stand aside.  
" I am.  
"you're weak.  
"freak.  
"again.  
Draco seemed to be even more...amused than I was. He was staring into space, though catching the gist of what the Headmaster said.

Everyone was in rapt attention. I was happy enough to stare at the ceiling. I haven't seen such a sky.  
Of course.  
The night was more welcoming.

"...and now dig in!  
"Harry.  
"....eat.  
"...I am fine.  
"...had large lunch.  
"...fine.  
He stares. I glare.  
The other snivelling fool, Quirrell is observing this contest. If he thinks I haven't discovered his identity.  
then I laugh.  
Voldemort in a turban any buyers?  
Cost: One life.

Everyone was chatting and eating. I wanted to eat but at the first bite my stomach lolled dangerously. I decided to just sit and hold up the pretense of Actually eating. It doesn't matter since none of the rest of the Slytherins care what I do. I should also add that Draco and his assortment of friends are excluded from that previous phrase.

I wanted to smirk at the minute glances I received from some of the teachers. They had never-no one- had expected that I, Harry Potter, Son of James Potter would end up in Slytherin. I scoffed. It was their own fault, mostly Dumbledore, had they known.  
"worthless.  
"...not...worth...care.  
"idiot.  
"....BOY.  
The memories consumed me. I could hear his voice echoing in the Hall. It was a broken record playing itself in my head with vivid details. Around my upper arm, under my robe, was the serpent, Yei. She was rather restless. Licking me...to attention.

"...Goodnight.  
"Prefects.  
"...dorms"

Finally....rest was it really?  
I thought and raced my mind through what had happened that day. It was just a chess game, Dumbledore's sick game that I WOULD win.

Insomia encompasses those who sleep not. I was one. My eyes peeled opened despite the fatigue I experienced. My dorm mates: Draco, Blaise, Theodore, Greg, & Vincent...all were in deep slumber

So I thought.

I crawled out silently and was met with the cool silence of the Slytherin Common Room. It was very dark since the colors themselves were a rich Emerald with shades of black and silver. I made it outside in the dungeons without any drama.  
That is.  
until I ran into Filch.

His horrible teeth gleaming in the candle light. To say he was pleased to find me was an understatment, he was OVERjoyed to find a student out of bed on the first night. Just my luck...

He led me to his office. A small little room that had to have been a closet in some time past. His cat, Mrs. Norris was dozing in a little basket next to the desk. He grumbled about having to find teachers at such a late hour and threatened me with horrid torture were I to leave or touch anything in the room (including Mrs. Norris). I smirk of course.  
not.

I looked around in a tedious manner. One object brought my greatest attention was an old piece of parchment...Seemingly abandoned.  
Interesting.  
I grab it and open it to find.  
nothing.  
What A loss. I almost shove it away when a "random" bit of information comes to mind.  
"The most prized possession....James had.  
"I never allowed him to give.  
"I even "helped" create.  
"Marauder's Map.  
"Ridiculous Password....such childishness.  
" I solemnly swear....

I take my wand out and say the words, hoping I was just dreaming. " I solemnly swear I am up to no good"  
I smile...at Msrs. Prongs, Padfoot, Moony....and "wormtail.  
The day.  
has just begun.  
So it had, as Dumbledore in all his false authority stepped into the office..Irony bites.


	4. Falling in the Rising Darkness

**Disclaimer: For Chps 1-to the end of the stories..**

**I don't own the char of JKR aka Harry Potter Co. I do own the poems before and after the story. Thanks.**

**Notes: **Thanks SO much for the reviews! Especially TEENY-WEENY! Responses at the end. :

_"..." Other char. Talking_

_'..' is harry's thoughts..._

**Note: **he is talking/thinking but when other are talking the ('...') is when he's thinking to himself while they're talking. Also a lot of this is what is happening and his thoughts jumbled together somewhat. It's going to get clearer as it progresses, just he's still in the "Dursley" mindset...it could get worse, but...who Knows? I DO have some twists in store for Mr. Potter in the future. I CAN say this much, I'm not really inclined to DARK! Harry so i'm sorry for those who envisioned a Dark! Harry.

**Chapter Four**

_**Previously:**_

_I take my wand out and say the words, hoping I was just dreaming. " I solemnly swear I am up to no good"_

_I smile...at Msrs. Prongs, Padfoot, Moony...and "wormtail._

_The day._

_has just begun._

_So it had, as Dumbledore in all his false authority stepped into the office..Irony bites._

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**_  
_

_Holding fast_

_the column grows_

_this sorrow unleashed_

_i wish upon none_

_this writing muse_

_has stripped clean the barrier_

_a self infliction_

_i noticed_

_and it fell apart_

_this machine _

_is broken_

_don't look for the pieces_

_i've lost all of them_

_this singing prelude_

_to the fall_

_a warning to you_

_the ghosts of my memory_

_this labryinth of disgust_

_and self-hatred_

**Now..On to the Story..(Cheerio)**

"Mr. Potter," began Dumbledore.

Old Coot...

"...must...not...caught...wandering...

"...sir..."

Liar. It's all your fault...right?

"...Good Night."

Snape stalked inside the small room as Dumbledore walked out humming. He stared at me, I could tell he wanted to give me detention...it didn't matter.

Why...

He stared at the old parchment in my pocket but whisked away as I followed him. He mentioned something but I was busy watching the portraits...

so active and

talking.

The ringing...the laughter...

darkness...

Falling...

"NOT HARRY!...

Take him and Go...he's here...go..."

A bright light exploded on my eyes. I opened them and saw a sterily clean room, and a nurse in the back of the room murmering to herself inside a closet.

I groaned..the Hospital Wing.

I had closed my eyes in my despair, not seeing Madame Pomphrey walking briskly to my side until...

"Mr. Potter, so good of you to awaken...

passed out...wouldn't...

up...

Professor...

brought...

here..."

I still had my eyes closed. For a moment, i could still hear the laughter echoing. I wanted to grab my head in pain, but I just stared at the nurse blankly. If I squinted hard enough, i could see red hair and green eyes and a gentle smile...but it never was.

the pictures...they haunt my memories...

red hair, green eyes

messy black hair, grey eyes...

red eyes...

death.

blood.

pain...

"go...Be careful Mr. Potter." said the nurse dismissing to my first class.

If only I could run away from my mind.

Peace begotten into hell

"Potter...Potter.." whispered a voice next to me in Potions. I was concentrated on the swirling colors, magic blending with the ingredients.

I don't listen to Malfoy, not at all. All I see is an older face holding me down, killing me. It's all dream...It's all dream, I'm supposed to convince myself...but it doesn't work.

Whatever he said, he smirks and turns away. I'm lost again. But I know somehow what to do.

A sight to fall, a tall tower and rushing winds.

It's not a bad idea...not yet.

"Our celebrity...mix...potions..."

'Slut...whore...

"Dismally completed...

'Stay still...rip...tear...

They combine...the voices...it's all the same. I see the look in the eyes of group in the back, the same glint in...His...eyes. I blink and turn away. Suddenly...

Hogwarts...seems...

hollow and sinister...

I can almost feel the empty wind...

it's coming...

something...is going to..find me...

kill...

me...

it's all over...

is it?

**End of Chapter.**

_do not wander_

_nor linger in these lines_

_i've fallen_

_this you know_

_so leave now_

_these words were not meant_

_to be seen_

_to be spoken_

_just falling verses_

_of a broken_

_child._

**Now Responses:**

_Teeny-Weeny_: I LOVE YOU! As soon as I read your review I decided to start this story up again, I had almost given it up. I was working on my other fic Firestarter (18 chps!) so I finally decided to return to this one. I WAS thinking of D/HP, but now Im not sure, i have some twists in store for harry. He's more broken than he seems, but he'll get through. I had this chapter written before, but it was deleted; which sucks cuz i had explained how he knew about the map. In this one i hinted it a bit. You'll find out next chapter for sure. Thanks for the review!

**READ ME:** Please Review! People in Hell need ice water…Fanfic authors need REVIEWS….Click the button,you know you want to…:


	5. He Knows, He Swore

**Disclaimer: See Ch.4**

**A/N: at the Bottom**

**SYMBOLS or FORMATTING: **

things in "**BOLD" **are the durseleys speaking in Flashback mode.

Things in "_ITALICS"_ are full Flashbacks in Harry's POV.

Also: this switches from normal to prose since it is Harry's POV and he's a bit…unstable…to say it one way.

On to the Story!

**Chapter Five**

My mind wanders, or perhaps its my feet in the hallways, empty and silent. I think I ran into Mrs. Norris but she only stared at me and walked away, perhaps to Filch who knows.

The dorm was silent when I left, the snores and such were overwhelming, my eyes should be bloodshot, I haven't slept since...I can't...remember...

_**"Filthy Whore...I'll teach you..." A meaty hand came down**_

_again_

_again_

_and emptiness_

_pain_

_as he was taken_

_again_

_again..._

I shake my head and look towards the window outside. It was a full moon and the lake seemed like a mirror of the outside. It was glass in an open plain...a freedom that I could not- did not deserve.

_**"Go Clean up the attic you pathetic freak...for all we do...care...clothe...you..." she screams...I run upstairs, into the dusty silence. The attic was full of boxes and a small window on the roof. The boxes were blank and seemingly empty…or so they felt. **_

_I couln't open any of the boxes, I had dusted to a shine the whole place, I even organized the positions of the boxes, still everyone I tried to open, they remained shut. _

_I first tasted magic, in the filthy air, in the dust, in the silence. _

_The shimmered and tingled with something…different. I comforting wave of…something…magic in the air and box I had my hands on plopped open. _

_There was a thin sheet of tissue paper, deep jade. _

_Under the sheet of leather bound book._

_A single picture in the front page: it was a smiling lady with my eyes, a small baby and a tall man man with my hair who was smiling too. _

_It was-_

"_**WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" he screamed. My uncle**_

_he took it away…._

_The smiles died_

_And the darkness overwhelmed them_

_Burned by the flames…_

" Potter." A soft voice murmured behind me.

"What. What more?" I whispered. I didn't turn around, the magic wove around me, I was so vulnerable…pitiful…exposed…

"They're gone now…you must realize that you cannot hold this to yourself." The voice whispered barely a foot away.

I frown. "It's not your place to decide that…you are to blame as much as they are." I spat, though without hatred, more self-loathing.

"It's illogical to hold- "You did it too, and now you swore an _oath_; you'll keep it and tell no one. Stop following me, I'm not an invalid, or a child. I never was." I snarled.

Steps receeded. Leaving me, to my own darkness and demons. It started to rain, if only the heavens knew…

And Yet…

He does. He can't speak of it, but still, the glances perturb my veil of denial.

He did it too,

Still he left me in the coffin

Alone

And dying.

I was in the Great Hall when Draco and the rest of my dorm mates decided to come down.

Draco stared at me and shrugged, it was nice to leave questions unanswered.

I mechanically spread jelly on my toast. It was too sweet, but the at the moment I couldn't tell the difference.

It was all numb and cold. I couldn't even place it- the reason.

I stared at my schedule without emotion and hardly noticed the disgusted remarks on some of the classes.

Gryffindors and Transfigurations.

_My dear son,_

_Having you read this means the inevitable to all men in sometime, our death must have occurred…_

……_**..Foul Creature! Get DOWN, NO MORE of THAT NONSENSE.**_

_Bruises and cuts and something worse_

_Tear me_

_It hurts_

_Does it not?_

'……_James often…then…Sirius, he's your godfather, I do hope you two are well and together…Remus…the other Marauder and dear friend..he'll be so…..'_

_The perfect handwriting of her, I nearly grinned as the tears came down._

'_Mum'_

_**YOU HAVE KNOWN THAT OTHER WHORE SOLD YOU AWAY..'**_

_**It's not true….**_

_**IT"S NOT TRUE…**_

If and when the time comes, I hope never to remember.

They're staring at me and following me. I know what they want, what I will not give.

Someone, I wish, would stop them…in time.

Before they got me…Before…

The Reason-I've found is me.

They're all gone, my own my family,

Everything

It's me

I'm the cause.

I never noticed that I had yelled out loud. In the hall, I barely noticed Draco grabbing my arm as I fell.

I could only hear…her voice…the singing…the comforting sounds…

The bitter cold of darkness…

There is warmth…it's so foreign…a pulsing warmth…

I should let go

I'm too volitale,

I'm only a weapon, a tool

I'm a hope fallen.

If only I knew why he's calling me

Calling me back to this life

The hellish reality of it all and pain

Too much pain in the abyss

Who's to fall

And caught.

It's me

It's me

See my final act…

The great Fall…

Of death.

**End…of Chapter.**

**A/N: **

**Teeny-Weeny: **Thanks For your Review! I made this chp a bit longer, though it had meant to be two chapters, but oh well. Harry actually formed for a page or two coherent and logical..somewhat…thoughts and sentences. Just to clear things up, he's having flashbacks as he's getting used to Hogwarts. Unfortunately, there are some things or rather _people_ who keep bringing his worst memories again. And no you didn't dissuade me from H/D they're still a high possibility, but there is someone else who will have a rather large impact, im not revealing him yet but he's the one who talks to Harry. He IS getting better, but some of the memories have gone far deeper than even he realizes and his magic is trying to stabilize him thus all the "falls".

Why havent' people noticed? Well, that's another story… THANKS for the Lovely review, I was having a bad day so it cheered me up quite a bit. -

Everyone Else...Read Below...

**_You know the pretty purple button…click it and REVIEW! Please! Thnx….._**


	6. Dreaming of Shadows

** Disclaimer**: Wish I had it, don't own it anyways. The song belongs to Charlotte Church.

**Chapter 6**

_There are days when we forget that what we had is no longer there. _

I thought about my mother, I heard her voice singing. It was a strange lullaby, as if she already knew what I was going through now, trying to get me out of my own darkness.

_When the night is still_

_And the sea is calm_

_Lonely shadow, you call upon me_

_Lay by my side_

_Fear not tonight_

_Lonely shadow, you'll find a new light_

_Dream a dream_

_And see through angel's eyes_

_A place where we can fly away_

_Ride with me upon a shining star,_

_Above the moonlit sky_

_We will find Elysium_

_Hear the nightingale_

_Sing a lullaby_

_Lonely shadow, you'll find a new light_

_Dawn will be kind,_

_All will be bright,_

_Lonely shadow, rise from the darkness_

_Dream a dream, etc._

I am the lonely shadow held in someone's arms. It's a warm glow around me. I wake up in the light and someone's hands in my own.

I don't move and stay still, just receding in my whims of sleep and dreams. Sadly, Draco noticed this, he hadn't slept in fact, as he towered me, it seemed he hadn't slept for a while.

He silently walks away and towards the nurse's office. Madame Pomphrey comes in her usual bustle and checks me and forces me to take potions and some food. I catch phrases of my condition from her. How I have been unconscious for a week, how I would have sudden attacks and start screaming.

I never paid much attention to her comments, instead I watch Draco who silently stares back, his eyes hazy as if he were staring at something that isn't there or just something in his imagination.

Madame Pomphrey leaves a bit later, and just as I was falling under the effects of the sleeping potion, Draco whispers, "Why?"

I couldn't have answered that even I was coherent enough to do so.

He knows, and it torments me. Somehow, he has figured the cause of these twisted lies, like a labyrinth in my mind. I want to kick him out, curse, anything to make him disappear. And he does, or at least so my mind leads me to think.

I must stop hiding from them_. Imperio, _nor my own whims can keep the shadows of reality from myself.

As I slip into the cold darkness, I know I've returned. I can just see the hidden obscure memories flit across my mind. It was a dream I forgot, a lonely shadow.

If I had noticed, which I never did, Draco was still there a shadow's ghost hauling my form back to it all. Yes, it was time…for something….something to behold.

Time for the beginning end.

A/N: Sorry for the wait! THANKS TO ALL THE REVIEWERS! I LOVE YOU ALL! 

**RESPONSES:**

xxxALENExxx: Thanks for that great equation. I'm glad you're not disappointed. It seems like Harry is coming back now, so it's a bumpy ride from now on.

cynosure the hierophant: Thanks for the feedback, and for your sake, Harry will become coherent and understandable. It was rather challenging to write him so unfinished. I hope you keep reading though.

tweeny-weeny: For all those lovely reviews, HUG! Yes, more secrets, (Sorry!) but as they say, "all shall be revealed in time." And, you made some good guesses to this pivotal character, so yes…no….maybe so? Harry is returning so it shall be fun to see him interact normally…at least for now. (he is not going back to his delusional damaged self), but there are some people who haven't let him go yet.

And TEASER for the next chapter!.

"Harry don't you see? He's after you too. Soon they'll all know," replied the figure. Harry's eyes shone with a determination and anger… "He's not here, so forget him, I won't let you take me down with you." He muttered, turning around and left.

The figure stood alone in the hallway. "Yes, but he'll find you Harry, and I'll be there to catch you, you don't see it but he's killing you, I already see the cracks." He whispered to himself.

_He too walked away, a slight smirk on his face. _


	7. Something Lingers Here

**A/N : To Teeny-Weeny! (and all my other faithful reviewers)** Thanks SO MUCH for reviewing, sorry you had to wait so long. but now ; here's the next installment.

**Please review at the end! hands digital cupcake please?**

**Disclaimer:**I do NOT own any of these songs. They belong to Train, Ana, Sarah Mclachlan, & Nickelback. They're a bit distorted. The lyrics aren't in complete order Sorry if there's a few mistakes.

I don't own Harry Potter & other char.

**Chapter 7 : Something lingers here.**

**Prelude**

**_What about the place we call home_**

**_See devil on doorstep now_**

**_My oh my_**

**_Telling everyone how to live their lives_**

**_Time is ticking and we can't go back…_**

**_There's never been so many_**

**_You washed your hands_**

**_You come out clean_**

**_You fail to recognize me_**

**_And the meaning within_**

**_One step forward_**

**_Making ten steps_**

**_My oh my_**

**_Lining for the grand illusion_**

**_No answers for no questions asked_**

_It is in our darkest moments in which we find the light we so long needed. _

Transfiguration with Gryffindors was unbearable. The snickers, pranks and the insults were non-gratifying. I also, did not like needles. My hands shook as I gripped my wand. The incantation was wobbled and murmured, it worked still the memories came gradually like a horror film.

My hands were bandaged after that class. I could still see the blood stains. They stare at me now, like a criminal or a lunatic.

'It's magic!' I want to scream or, somehow my body really hates me for some unknown reason, but that would be further lunacy.

"Potter."

"Go Away Malfoy" I growled.

He was another thing altogether. Ever since the Hospital Incident, he's been trailing after me with questions.

"Right and those bandages on your hands is merely an imagination of mine?" he retorted sarcastically.

"What Malfoy? What d'you want from me?" I called back angrily. I was sick of it all, and the memories and what I was.

I ran off in a blind daze. I was back….and it still hurt.

"_What About the world today…_

_And we've never been so alone_

_You keep watching from a picket fence_

_keep talking but it makes no sense_

_You say we're not responsible_

_But we are_

_We are._

_Lining up for the execution_

_And not knowing why_

I ran into a nightmare. It was a creature but my reflection in a puddle of blood. Death invaded my senses and it was too much.

So what if it was just a dead black cat. When the screaming came and the footsteps of people came, it was only Dumbledore's call for silence that saved me from the hanging.

So what if I was being led again to his office in subdued silence with all the portraits whispering as if I couldn't hear or see them?

Did it matter to say "it wasn't me!" because Dumbledore knew it wasn't, he knew that the Shadows that had followed from birth were coming for their due.

It broke his perfect plan.

_Place so holy_

_That I could wash this from my mind_

_Memory of choosing of two fights_

_If it takes my whole life_

_I won't break_

_I won't bend_

_It'll all be worth it_

_Worth it in the end_

_When the stars have all burned out_

_Cast me gently,_

_Into morning _

_For the night has been_

_Unkind._

I couldn't return to the Tower at all. I didn't and stayed walking around the castle regardless of who might find me.

It was around midnight when he found me. He was the largest shadow in my life. He still haunted me with a somber attitude, not pitying, but still regretting. He tried to save me what had to come, but he couldn't and he still can't.

"Potter."

"Here to play 21 questions too?" I murmured cynically. He wasn't perturbed, he hardly is.

"What have you come to say? I know he's out for me, he's always been out for me, not only Voldie cakes but him. You let me stay there knowing what would happen." I ranted quietly, "So shut up I don't want to hear it, you couldn't save me, and really aren't I supposed to save myself? Isn't that part of being "The Boy-Who-Lived"?

"So I suppose you won't tell me why you hurt yourself with those needles?" he replied in equally sardonic tone.

"I didn't ask you to be my keeper, I was having a flashback, and lost control for a few moments." I ground out

_What have you done_

_This isn't some kind of joke_

_You'_

_And when the world's its knees me _

_It's fine_

_Everybody seems to be getting what they need_

_Where's mine?  
cuz you're what I need so very _

_But im anything but ordinary_

_I think im trying to save the world for you_

_You've been saving me too_

" Potter, you should.- "What? You couldn't save me from myself alright! He yelled, " It's too late…it's something I have to do on my own." He whispered softly looking out of a near by window.

The silence reigned for awhile, each immersed in their own thoughts.

"He's here. The cat was no mistake. Be Careful." The man whispered into the 'emptiness' and walked away.

Another creature from beyond the wall grinned sinisterly. The gamehad officially begun.

_And this is how, you remind me_

_Of what I really am_

_This is how, you remind me_

_Of what I really am_

_It's not like you to say sorry_

_I was waiting on a different story_

_This time I'm mistaken_

_for handing you a heart worth breaking_

_and I've been wrong, i've been down,_

_been to the bottom of every bottle_

_these five words in my head_

_scream "are we having fun yet?"_

End of Chp.7


	8. The Phantom Image

**_Thank You to all who reviewed, I am immensley sorry to not have updated for so long._ **

_Life of lives,  
Beginning to the end.  
We are alive  
Forever._

_--Enya_

**Chapter Eight**

It was slinking away from the deserted hallway with a feral grin. Immensley amused with himself as well, his master would so pleased.

Dumbledore had been a fool to intrust the Potter boy with the muggles. Muggles were so…malleable at least for what they needed of course.

It had been just too easy 'convincing' them to make the boy's life absolute hell; it had been almost as good as having Death Eaters doing all the work. But of course that's was use of the muggles.

Now, the so called "Light Spy" was getting their target ready for the last blow. All that was needed was their master to return and finish the job.

The wizarding world would be theirs for the taking and not just Voldemort but the shadows.

They would finally the world so long deprived by the light.

Hogwarts

'I am a damned soul.' Harry thought to himself. Love is nought a place in this time nor for me especially.

_Lyr…_

_Mithras…_

_Chimmeri_

The words echoed in his mind like a haunted chant without end in a rhythmic melody.

He was returning to the Tower. The lair of the lions, of all the ridiculous names for a House, little did they know the truth behind their noble origin.

The darkness that surrounded the hallways was cast upon shadows of the luminous moon, a full and obscure orb that tormented werewolves yet inspired nothing of the sort in Harry.

Whence he started his mechanical process toward the dungeons, his thoughts carried him to another realm, of the secrets and lies that he had painfully discovered.

The shadows formed freakish shapes and in themselves seemed to lurk along the path alongside him. Whither he noticed, the reader shall see that it is duly unoted.

The silence once perturbed did not either alert his senses to his surroundings. As the waking dreamer creeps in his sleep oblivious to the world without his phantasmic reality.

Quite suddenly a warm wall knocked him down to reality. His eyes at once unfocused narrowed toward the pale face that stared at him intently. The glistening eyes questioning and slight surprise at the appearance of another in the dusk of night.

Harry is unnerved to have the prince of Slytherin staring at him without question, he was irritated that he had been too blind to see the shadows of his wake. Nevertheless it was as if the Silver Dragon stalked his every step.

"Has anyone explained to you the meaning of the noun: Stalker?" asked Harry sarcastically, as he stood once more facing the ghostly figure.

" The moon is full tonight Potter, is it not beautiful to behold?" he asked in response. Harry was perturbed at the strange outtake of his question. Nevertheless, the boy before him appeared to be the same arrogant blond he had seen before.

However, this is a crude description, for Harry, it must be annotated, would not admit the queer quality in his companion's appearance, and ethereal, elfish quality had betoken him. The pale drawn of lunar light seemed to be about him in his person. His eyes contained a stark, empty expression as if focused on something beyond the understanding of the normal world.

A strange impulse seemed to in want of possessing Harry. As he mentioned, he was indeed a damned boy. Yet, this newly acquired bias of his companion placed him in weariness at another query in his life- yet again.

"Draco, _why_ are you here?" he asked slowly. Draco stared at Harry for a moment, in which a plethora of emotions flitted across it. Before, as if awakened from a dream or a trance, he smiled and wordlessly turned around and walked towards the dungeons.

Harry stood in the hallway staring at the figure stepping away. A perplexity that was unprecedented had just placed itself in front of him.

'What could Malfoy be playing at?' he pondered to himself. Indeed, disregarding the soft tingling aftereffects of seeing the boy. He would not venture in a lost-man's land, it was far too early for such a take in the quest.

The darkness grew further and the moon simply stared upon the empty hallway, as Harry stepped forward to the Common room entrance. The thoughts twirling in his head waiting for the somber silence of an enclosed room and the welcome solitude.

Though he seemed to have been released from Insanity's bosom, it seemed that Reality had but more disturbing plans for him, and Fate had no objection whatsoever.

The night was obscure and light

As the children slept and toiled on foolish worldly things, the ethereal child of the gods once more pondered on the lock of the truth, the grand revelation was at hand.

"Soon so soon the Chimmeri shall return upon us once more."murmered Harry in his sleep unconscious of his mumbled phrases.

_The stars were smiling brightly_

_A mischievous sight was at hand_

_For the folly of all._

**End of CHP**

A/N: Yes, long time no UPDATE, alas, school has started and I'm being bombarded by literary junk and other unhealthy academic information. I fear Hermione is too much of an influence.

Anyways: yes, I know this was _rather_ vague, no harry is not insane neither is Draco. There is a reason and point to all of this (AKA I have a plan in store for our beloved characters). Some words there are very important. All I shall say is that , Draco is not all human (no not a veela or elf) as neither is Harry, which I think I inferred in earlier chapters.

>>>Note: at some point, I will go back and revise previous chapters, just a few details that will be sorted out to go w/ the plot. Yea. To the writing evolution. If anyone has any suggestions or wants to beta previous chapters just leave your remarks in your review. I deeply appreciate any advice or help given or not given.

The Next chapter will have more revelations about harry, a bit of evil conflict and mayhaps some Voldemort.

----Otherwise: **ER& R**. "enjoy reading and review" and please add any questions or criticism; whatever you wish in the reviews.


	9. Finally A Dream

**Short A/N: **This will be AU; with HBP out and all this might have some strains of similarity but not too much of a spoiler. I won't go and reveal the major plot theme: ex: OMG! This is just like did to on pg. Etc. oh and the obvious READ but PLEASE Review.

**Another A/N: **

>>OMG! 386 Hits? I'm flattered. Anyways; I am DESPERATELY trying to update this chapter: FFN is screwing around with the technicalities. --; but hopefully it will show up as ch. 9 not 8.

**Disclaimer**: none of the songs are mine: they belong to Linkin Park (3) Green day (1) and Sarah Mclachlan(2)

**Chapter Nine**

_I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone_

_(1)_

It was several days later from the previous incident. The usual affairs returned without tense moments and such that to those involved it seemed to be the makings of a dream.

For Harry, any strange nuances were conveniently forgotten. The arrogant Draco he had come to know and…for lack of better word, become accustomed to was once more in his princely reign. In fact he acted as if that night had just been a dream or an illusion of Harry's on long weary night.

Nonetheless the entertainment of the middle year had not come and Christmas was in its tide. The dry snow that lingered in the outskirts and glossed over all signs of nature except for the solitary dark trees that stood in a stark outline.

Harry remained aloof of others and society in Hogwarts itself. Admittedly he was not of the Christmas cheer, so in seeing the professors come at different times to decorate their classrooms, he did not feel the common tingle of excitement.

Unlike him, the rest of the school was in a fervor to leave the school, it seemed that the hours were extended by some cruel hand of Time to torture them with thoughts and memories of a happier time.

Even the professors were affected by the excitement (barring Professors Snape and McGonagall of course), still the wait was only a mere few days. The halls filled with caroling knights and happy pasts, how could it not affect the object of this story?

Perhaps it is in the childhood of darkness that remains locked away in his mind that instinctively reaches out to erase the pain and the shame. The want for a present and familial joy of presents, songs and trees. Still he brushed these thoughts into his work and mindlessly traipsed alongst the castle attempting an oblivious attitude to the holly and the carolers.

That is until his owl gracefully dropped into his lap on the last day of school before the hols. It was bearing an envelope with a strange insignia.

Harry examined the letter without touching it, trying compensate for the lack of reality in being sent a letter from a stranger, despite his reputation for the illogical fame. Deciding in his mind that it seemed quite concrete and real, he hesitantly grabbed it and slowly opened it as to not rip the envelope That of a cautious person handling the most precious of treasures in his hands, did Harry open this mysterious note.

_Dear Harry,_

_In writing you this letter, I thought it the best way to actually explain myself before you wander off in your mind- and completely ignore me._

_My parents have thought upon it and as I agree and would like to cordially invite you to spend the Christmas Holidays at the Manor. _

_Short notice as it may be, I hope you shall consider it and accept._

_Please Reply by word of mouth._

_Draco._

Harry was puzzled as to why such formality for such a trivial thing, besides he has intentions of fully exploring the library not being under the scrutiny of all the Malfoys- one was more than sufficient.

"Well. Will you come or not?" asked the same sender of the letter. Harry glanced at the boy for a moment, realizing this had been planned in this particular way on such notice in order for him to have little time to consider it and truly accept before being able to back down.

" You are asking me to be under the constant examination of your family whereas I could be here in Hogwarts, safe and happily situated with a large amount of books and be free of your stalking tendencies." Replied Harry.

Draco rolled his eyes. "well then, I suppose you accept." He said rather cynically, "We'll be leaving on the train tomorrow and will meet my parents at the station. Do try to wear something acceptable. Oh and I've alreadly cleared it with the headmaster and Professor Snape, they agree and _encourage_ you to come with me." He replied with superior-like air and walked away before Harry could utter an argument.

_how stupid could I be  
a simpleton could see  
that you're no good for me  
but you're the only one I see_

_(2)_

Harry stared at the retreating figure dumbfounded. Staring once more at the letter, he grimaced and sighed. It would be a long holiday, if at all relaxing.

He thankfully missed Dumbledore's slight twitch of the lips or Snape's strange grimace that if seen in the right light could have been mistaken for a small smirk.

Nonetheless, Harry would not have been able to change the arrangements. He placed the letter in his bag and read, for his breakfast was none too appealing forthwith.

Let us now return to the precursor of evil and the root of all misfortunes to our jaded hero…

Voldemort would not have noticed Christmas tidings were it not for the soft and most unwanted whispers that flitted around his Death Eaters.

A sinister notion to crash a beloved Holiday was most enticing. Or rather had he a body and actual faithful followers, these would have been his thoughts.

He was trapped in the back of a spineless coward. The worst of the matter was that the fool was not even one of his own.

He was lacking so much, yet he had been the only susceptible mortal lying about-foolishly, yet there. This was the image that has been created of this evil mage. Yet the flickering image was rather unreliable.

Still, His thoughts were bent on killing a certain emerald-eyed boy. The stupid pawn of Dumbledore being used as a "Light" missionary for nought but Dumbledore's own purposes.

The hatred in these thoughts were most potent that Quirrel had a stringent difficulty in maintaining a nervous smile on his face as a first year stared at his tremoring hands.

The "thing" had not returned- he was not expected to, yet "thing" as he was being called, was the only source of true distraction. Seeing constantly happy people made him sick and nauseating. If could but let another chaotic disaster occur, it would please his hatred-ridden system.

Smiling he had but another idea for the boy-wonder, and it would prove quite easy if he were to stay here in the holidays. Yet, a start of term gift was not a horrible idea either.

And so together the fool and fiend plotted on the "present" whilst the "thing" silently watched all from afar, its own mind condensing facts and created nefarious plans.

Mayhaps it was some divine light that shed on Harry's predicament, for which he left the next day as said by the blonde-haired boy, with a scowl and glare and of course sullen silence on the ride.

Yet he could not but help wonder if he was yet leaving the safety of the castle to the lair of evil itself, that it might be probable he would not return alive.

So little he knew of the "thing" and quirrell, had he had but a suspicion, he perhaps might have just hugged Draco there and then. This would presume too much and could quite not happen as none knew of the evil lurking the corner save perhaps one.

And he would never tell-he was uncertain in the possibilities.

The chessboard was moving once more and the knight was just moved away from certain disclosure.

'It's still too soon.' This person thought to themselves.

The snow was falling and the night extending its hand toward the sun. They were arriving at the station. Harry could see the crowd of people in their coats with bright red faces peering anxiously to see any relative.

Nostalgia was evident in his turmoil but his fear of the two he did not want to meet at the moment overcame all else.

And there- almost immediately he saw them in superior glory. They did not smile- at least not the man. The lady was searching in the windows discreetly to see her beloved son's face, upon which she smiled graciously. The shadows, thankfully hid most of Harry so he was not so apparent as the bright face of his companion.

Harry could not at all forestall the inevitable and mechanically walked behind Draco toward the unwanted meeting. They stepped off the train slowly as if in no hurry which was partly true. Within the throng they were able to once more find the couple in waiting as if they had never yet moved. Like sculptures carefully proportioned into a sembalance of life.

Suddenly, they moved to life and Mrs. Malfoy smiled and hugged her son and Mr. Malfoy slightly embraced the boy, for despite the public image of cold detachment one found it quite hard to deny the silver pools of the small boy who still did not see the true horrors of life.

And there, they looked from their son to Harry, silent as the darkened sky. He had not moved since they arrived before the Malfoys.

He met the stern gaze of Mr. Malfoy and the strange grin of Mrs. Malfoy. She reached out her hand and shook his cordially and Mr. Malfoy reluctantly followed suit.

"Hello Mr.Potter." he said.

Thus began the holidays with the illustrious family of the Malfoys.

All Harry could ponder was 'What have I gotten myself into'.

What indeed.

**End of Chapter Nine**

_Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well_

_Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself_

_Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know_

_Somehow I need to be alone_

_(3)_

_**End of Chp. 9**_

Thank You for all the reviews (Stormgreen Obsession) I love you all and Ihope you liked this chapter!

Response (8.22.05)

> Stormgreen Obsession: This is definitely H+D, yesI have a lot in store for them, and about mixedbloods...well let's just say veelas willlook tame to you afterthem, (I'm notplanning for a Super! Harry, just one w/just enough power to kill Voldie)anyways thanks for your wonderful review, I am trying to write clearly so it's a work in progress, thanks for reviewing!

FurtherNotice: 8-30-05: Katrina kicked my power and the internet; (aka School libraries rock).I'm at a school computer udpating thisSo chapters will be slower to come, and I do have chapter 10 written, i'll try to update it this week.


	10. The Word of a Lady

**8-31-05**

**To All Readers: (READ THIS FIRST)**

**_Thanks for the reviews, the notice below is unnecessary for those of you beautiful reviewers who have not had problems with future SLASH implications of this story: This a large note to a FLAME I received for the story, so for all the kind reviewers that are not offended by slash; just skip this insulting letter and scroll down to Chapter 10 and just continue on with the story; _**

**_Big Notice To The Dictator of Heterosexuality (AKA _Sodomizes with Severus)**

**Unlike you, I am an educated individual who DOES have morals, Due to my being an American citizen, I am ENTITLED to print, write whatever I wish regardless of SEXUALITY, RELIGION, etc.( READ THE CONSTITIUTION PREAMBLE YOU ASSHOLE) You as sensible person should have just clicked the BACK BUTTON and left me alone. I believe I have warned that it is SLASH so spare me your unnecessary lecture since I actually already know the history, I'll have you know I am a top ranking student in my class particulary in history and social cultures, so I am not a dumbass like you. **

**Furthermore, you have really defeated your impetuous effort in actually taking the time to review; since it counts as a review I know have 18 Reviews; making me A VERY HAPPY PERSON; contrary to your mitigated efforts in destroying my desire to write this story. In addition, I am actually quite pleased to have been flamed so it only drives me to continue the quest of this story and rebel against your unjust cause. I also would like to include that some of your technicalities in your tedious lecture were incorrect; I won't waste time pointing them out as they are quite obvious I believe you should review your excerpts from the Bible: Old Testament; story of Sodom; and the Talmud (For muslim religious technicalities) because obviously you got it from some "Mary Lou's Pointless information" site which if you KNEW how to do research correctly, you would have enquired in a encyclopedia or a validated university/institution/college website. **

**Finally the really vulgar nonsense which I say with a laugh since reading your review made me laugh hilariously: FUCK YOU and BURN IN RELIGIOUS HELL YOU HYPOCRITICAL BASTARD**

**Yours unsincerely, because you're a moronic imbecile**

**RiDoFsTaRs**

**P.S: I am reporting you to FFN: So help me that I will find you; faggot; yes you must be gay in order to so vehemently reproach my writing. **

**END OF INSULTING NOTICE**

**Chapter 10**

It was never clear before this, what were Draco's motives for having Harry around for the hols. As a child whom was spoiled both by material wealth and complacency, he could have seen Harry as another possession. Yet, the dark-haired mysterious boy was not such for Malfoy; he was indeed a friend, albeit aloof and dazed one, still he was the first of his age to consider his own thoughts and ideas. Thus Draco could not quite compartmentalize this boy, that as a friend or much more.

Merely, it was for his pleasure to have Harry there, his parents while weary of such a choice of guest, were induced to know what sort of boy this illusive child-hero was. It need not be mentioned the other ulterior motives of having the "Golden Boy" in their residence would do for their reputation and their own personal agendas. Yet for the sanctity of the holiday it need not be worried upon-yet.

They left the train station on sleek, elegant car, not to attract any muggle notice as per usual. The ride was filled by anecdotes from Draco about school and what more but school? Harry maintained his polite silence, he felt as the invader on the virgin land of a family, except for Mr. Malfoy. He would smile and acknowledge Draco when questioned directly, yet Harry had the strange sensation of being weighed, measured and labeled. Still he never locked eyes with the man; Lucius was the ultimate in elegant spying with no sound proof or basis.

Narcissa was quite polarized to all the sentiments in the compartment; her mind was worried, nervous even, for the holiday. That such a boy as Harry could be here- so close to the truth and yet oblivious to what was at his hands. Had she not kept her vow worthy, it would have been a different story. Although young, the blood of an ancient race coursed through her veins whispering the secrets of a long forgotten past. And how to prevent the truth from one so deserved. Perhaps he already questioned the silence on his parents' past, of their true identity? She argued with herself a tireless battle of over exhausted rationale. The mockery in this connection and the poison forthwith that it could create would ruin millions.

Lucius was of no fretting nature, he as usual, was calm, detached from the situation. It was nearly a play, a little production he manipulated. He thought of the possibilities and what he prayed would not be. He was studying the little boy and analyzing his components without so much a sentence of conversation. The hidden hue of unpredictable variables in the emerald eyes as if a secret lingered there that none but his innermost self could decipher. Of all the secrets Lucius had burrowed and revealed he could not but help to be intrigued in the mocking emerald eyes, had he to fear of some disastrous finality in the future, something that would inextricably connect them besides the sides of light and darkness?

Draco, having enough of over calculating minds, happened to fancy a yell of arrival, excited to return once more to his home. This side of childish play, of carefree kindness was what kept Harry silent. The mature and arrogant man-child he had met on the train to Hogwarts was gone. It was as if time had turned around to show this curious, albeit disconcerting, side of his nature. Regardless, he still had this fiery dervish temper but relaxed as if only the pure elements of the earth were coveting him and naught of the worlds could appear and distress him. Harry could not find the frost-bitten manner he had been so used to , the lines of personality had faded and blurred, Harry could not see more than where he stood.

The finality of his thoughts was of this: he was finally seeing that oft wished luxury of a true family life. A bond between these people, inextricable through everything but mentality, and an original love hidden from the world but before his own eyes. He was thrown into an abyss of longing for what could have been his. Yet in feeling this overpowering emotion he determinedly brushed it off; a weakness before this particular family would not have behooved him at all.

They arrived at the Manor, or the Castle as it impressed upon Harry. The gleaming sunlight, revealed a stately structure of pearly walls and lavish décor. His eyes could have used two or three extra pairs to fully examine every object in the long halls and broad doorways. He could not but allow himself a small expression of slight awe.

The Malfoys were of course, ever mindful of this and were full of customary pride as per usual to showing around a stunned guest around their "humble" abode. If left alone the silent wind that swept through the ancient portraits could have been heard resounding throughout the manor. The exotic plants and objects seemed to call out to him-pleading to be held or carefully observed as if in a dreamlike moment they would but disappear forever more.

Yet, this glorious entry and walk around the lucrative home had ended as he was left to his own room. It was not far from Draco's either; if you considered being in the adjacent wing sensible distance. Dinner would be shortly after six and his trunk had already been set in his room.

The room was as large as the Slytherin Common room and with similar colors of emerald green and pearly silver. The bathroom was expansive and seemed much of small swimming pool to Harry as he entered the hazy blue hue of the room. Therein the description of the Harry's 'room' ended, and he proceeded to accommodate his few things. Sheepishly he felt a bit like the poorest pauper in the home of a royal king. It was daunting to be brought forth to a wealthy reality instead of wistfully imagining it on a strange day of no importance.

He would have started reading once more; if not for the sharp 'pop' that resounded in the room quite loudly for there was no exterior noise to distort it. Harry stared at the source quite fervently; it was a small, ragged house elf. It had large doleful eyes full of dampened independence.

"Mr. Harry Potter sir, It is time for dinner, I is Dobby sir, and I am here to take you there." The strange house elf said slowly and quietly, for Harry had to strain himself slightly to hear the despondent whispered sentence. "Thank you, Dobby." He replied softly and left with the house elf who had said no further words in response.

Five minutes later, they arrived to a grand dining hall. Draco and his mother had already arrived there and as he arrived were conversing quietly. As he reached them, they stopped and smiled at him. "Harry dear, how good of you to join us, Lucius shall be here shortly, he had some, business to take care of, it will take a few minutes." Said Narcisissa in a light, pleasant voice. Harry nodded and sat down next to Draco.

He could have sat anywhere, yet if he had sat at the end he feared he wouldn't be able to hear anything nor see so clearly. And truly, it would have been quite rude, so in complacent politeness he reluctantly sat next to the mirthful boy.

Yet what mischievous plan did Draco Malfoy have in mind? What could it do with Harry?

It was no surprise that as these thoughts flew through Harry's mind; Lucius Malfoy arrived at the dining table, immediately dinner appeared as it did during the feasts in Hogwarts.

They commenced without hindrance and it seemed normal but Harry could not help to poke suspiciously at his meal. It was not anything he was accustomed to eat. Out of all the things that he could have expected to happen, this was clearly not on his list of strange or aristocratic in necessities.

Still, he preferred to not ask, what, for example was the oily dark brown meat was or the peculiar, small orbs were in the center. Perhaps further still, for Harry, it would have been best-at least to maintain his meal down, without this specific information.

Nevertheless, it was an uneventful affair and soon afterwards, Harry was already following Dobby back to his room, half-asleep and unaware of the airy stillness around him-too unaware.

On the journey he also failed to see the faint lunar shimmer that seemed to ensconce the dimly lit hallways. How strange for it was the night of the new moon, in which the fair orb could not be captured in the dark of the night.

When he finally reached his room, bid a sleepy, rather muffled 'Good Night' to the perpetually silent and somber elf, his head had not yet hit the pillow but he was fast asleep.

He could hear the muffled song of an ancient night silently reminiscing the long ago twilight, but he felt naught but the lingering breath of sleep in his ear.

This similar process seemed to occur for the next few days. The only exception is that Draco found it immensely hilarious to sneak into Harry's room and "wake" him up. For once it could have just been a cold icy glass of water, yet Draco loved to jump on him and the bed, and unfortunately, Harry had no protection from the morning happy boy.

He had tried a few locking charms, mysteriously, they had no effect on Draco's bombardment to his door. Harry was not a morning person at all; anyone who adores the weak 5 A.M sunshine should have their mental health revamped, for it was near unhealthy to be awoken at the same precise hour after a night of restless sleep and strange cut off hours of "light reading".

Today, however, would be _different_, or so thought Harry smugly that night. He would outsmart the cheeky imp and ruin his horrendous ritual (curiously unnoticed by Lucius and Narcissa) once and for all.

It must noted that Habit ruins the human mind, and Harry so well preferred this habit of no contact with people (as in touching) was rather unamused at being dragged out of his room that morning by a smirking Draco to breakfast, dumped unceremoniously on his chair without so much as a decent fifteen minutes to eat breakfast and dragged around the manor for hours.

Well, at least, for Harry it seemed hours, merely a few minutes in objective time. They arrived in front of a simmering red tapestry. Before any questions could come out of his mouth, a slim silvery outline of a figure crossed through the portrait. It smiling softly at them and took Draco's hand through the tapestry and thusly Harry was dragged along as well.

"So the children have arrived," said the strange figure that had brought them through the tapestry door. "The dark moonlight has come again, Draco, what mean you here?" she questioned him, though Harry could not comprehend what they meant nor why he had to be here either.

"She has seen him, followed him in the manor, singing in the halls about a child she has never known," replied Draco, "What does it mean?" he asked.

The lady pondered for a moment before saying, "You wish him to see it? See that rite of the book? She hath been restless of late, but he must vow silence; He does not know himself as he should. The Dark One has closed his mind for now, and he may still be watching." She said softly.

Draco nodded and Harry once more was left unable to talk as abruptly, the room changed into a dimly lit chamber full of dusty books. Draco, finally, let go of Harry and walked to the far right of the room and picked up a raven black tome with golden engravings. Staring at it for a moment, he then looked up and stared at Harry, almost searching for something that Harry had no idea could be within him.

"Here," Draco said as he walked over to the bespectacled boy. "You mustn't tell what you don't know Potter, I knew it was you before long. None of this reality you live in could form this attachment to this place, you think this is what it is, but he's still holding you prisoner to your mind. Remember the old song." He said.

Harry grabbed the book and held the dusty tome in silence. Part of him understood this obscure mystery, while he himself could not even comprehend the importance of his being here. It made his head throb with all the strange information and still something was missing.

As he looked up, the room distorted itself and he found himself alone in the empty hallway. He still had the book in his hands and he could now faintly hear, a solemn tune of a strange tongue lingering in the hallways. A hollow laughter was filling his head, mocking his confusion, rising to a shriek, he grabbed his head, but his hands were stuck fast to the book. The agony of the high piercing scream in his head lasted a moment before the darkness took him in and he knew no more.

He woke up again to remnants of nasty dream. The book was gone, and the song was gone. Draco stood there smiling. Harry checked the hour: 5:00 A.M.

It had been all a dream. A strange and haunted dream. He was again dragged to breakfast. He sat there staring at the plate, pale and cold.

The laughter was soft and mocking, he was laughing again, at him. Soft torture, but it was all in his head--right?

**end of Chapter**

**A/N: **

Yey, nice long chapter for all of you. Really, I have nothing better to do since I don't have internet due to EVIL KATRINA! GRRR. Thankfully, I'm not swimming in my own room.

Anyways. Someday I will be able to re-connect or join civilization again—who knows;

Just to clear things up again; the scene with the tapestry, etc was a dream, which is why he thinks he'll outsmart Draco that _night_ , so there is a "dream" scene and then the real morning afterwards.

Also, The conversation between the Lady and Draco is Important to the future chapters, they basically speak about what is really going on;(it's all symbolism to hide what they really mean, in case someone is listening).

?Finally, I want to add once more that Harry is _not_ going insane anymore for the rest of the story. So I won't torture him that way, Voldemort has all the nasty goodies covered. Strangely, no one has asked about "Thing" either, it is not to be ignored.

?**Next Chapter: **What the book is & Christmas.

**Small Challenge:**

I'm giving a hint to what Harry is: one word (see if you can find the origin): _Mithras_

he's really a combination of things, but the meaning of the word is part of what he is; put the what you think the word means in your review( yes, so please review! -) and your email, I'll email a scene of when everyone finds out what Harry is in the story to the first person to find it out!

So Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews! big smile hands out digital mini cakes Thanks **xxAlenexx **for your concern for the power: I'm still out like the light so onward with the school computers!

Review again! I love you all! Please? I have to read something while swimming in the streets. -'


	11. A Christmas Present

**Chapter 11**

The laughter resounded in his mind during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Even with the Christmas joy, it only served to further disturb him.

He even asked himself if he truly were going insane, for this maniacal and evil laughter was a surfeit of hearing anything is mind. The laughter reminded him of someone…yet he could not place the recognition, it seemed that the laughter served the purpose to elude the memory of the voice from some other time.

Frustrating Harry further more, he laid in his bed and tried to read, but still the throbbing headache would not leave. It felt as if he couldn't function beyond moving slightly. At times he would yell as his scream would overcome the hideous laughter that clouded his tortured mind.

He barely realized that night had fallen as he finally passed out from sheer exhaustion.

This was the miserable contents of Harry's day, yet his behaviour was not unnoticed by the rest of the occupants of the house, especially one Draco Malfoy.

Yet, he could not recall anything that had occurred to distress Harry so, it seemed disturbingly familiar to the "other" Harry. The silent, and perturbed Harry whose mentality had been seriously unhinged, the one who would smile vacantly at you yet seemingly not really being there. The Harry who would hurt himself as if the lines of blood could make him pure instead of leaving him in the Hospital Ward for days on end.

Still, that Harry had never been so pale and angry seemingly at nothing. Draco passed by his room and heard the yells, "Stop you horrid fiend!" or "What do you want from me!" and "Stop Laughing", at that Draco became as pale as Harry had been earlier. Who was laughing? Had Harry lost it again? What horrible monsters could be lurking behind those pained emerald eyes?

Suprisingly, Harry managed to get to lunch and dinner, almost mechanically willing himself to act "normal" or as normal as possible in his state. Even his parents noticed the sudden rather violent tremors that passed through Harry. Regardless of the five plates of food that were left on the floor.

Had this not happened, the extensively determined and focused face would have still confused the Malfoys. Draco knew that expression as the "Potions" expression, since he was only so concentrated in that class, and never anywhere else so openly.

To say the least, they were all more than a bit concerned for their eccentric guests. And as any kindred host would, they tried to question the boy. But almost as quickly as the fits came, they left him without a trace and a calm, confident child was left in his place. He would softly excuse himself, and after finishing what he could of his meal he would leave the table and go to his room.

Thus, Narcissia and Lucius had but three chances to actually attempt to pick apart the boy's distress. His door was impenetrably locked and only when he walked of the room would they but glimpse of the disaster inside. They caught a breath's glance of several books strewn on the floor half opened, other closed. Papers littered the floor as well as the bed with writing.

If Harry was at all aware of their attempts or of his own behavior, he kept it to himself. What had gone wrong with the Boy Wonder?

The "Thing" laughed silently-to himself, for in the dusky corner of the ceiling. Fools-all of them- in thinking that he could not find his delectable prey. The broken mind of the Boy-Who-Had-Yet-To-Die, was his for the taking, and no one-not even Harry Potter himself- could stop him.

It was a bleak and dreary Christmas eve that came upon the Malfoy household that night. Still no one slept well at all. There was, though, one little boy walking around the halls-or rather, under them.

The "Thing" had to be stopped, Draco had to find a way to force that horrid monster out of the house for awhile, and of course, he needed help.

He stopped in front of beautiful portrait of a starry sky in the midst of full moonlit night. He cautiously opened the portrait door and stepped in.

A lady stood before him on a lake's edge, in the same landscape of the painting he had just walked through. She turned her head slightly, and looked at him for a moment, before smiling softly at him. He returned the gesture, yet grimaced from the worry that burdened him and finally had caught up to him at that moment.

"Well my child, thou furrowed brow relates of a great trouble that lies ahead of us; is this not so?" she asked plaintatively, as she walked away from the water and towards him as a gliding swan borne upon the silky liquid.

"Yes my lady, it is, I fear the Child once more, the "Thi-"Oh do call it by it's true name, you are giving him power in forsaking it's true identity." She said distantly as if one were merely swatting a fly and not talking about the great evil tide upon them. "Yes well, _He_ is tyring to use the Child's mind again, even my parents noticed." He said plainly, waiting for a reply of wisdom.

"The real question is, has he found the book?" She said almost to herself in a soft murmer. "No, or I think we would not be speaking of it at all, that beast would have returned and used it already. Thou knowst how all evil acts all the same. No I feel that he hasn't found it –yet. Though the Child seems powerless to the devices of that monster, I came to ask a word of guidance." Draco finished finally.

"What is there to be said, that has not been said before?" She asked rhetorically, " The man-child must fight this alone, we cannot sacrifice the vow for a vain purpose. He must either win or die in defeat at the end of this time. For then were he to win, he must return and commence the quest." She said.

It boded little hope in Draco's mind. Waiting was insufferable in a time like this, so much was at stake, how could anyone leave it in the hands of that boy was beyond him. Yet, Draco could not contest the Lady's final word on the matter, she was correct in saying that they could _not_ risk that _He_ should learn their true identities, neither could Harry know of his true self until he returned, if he did at all.

At times such as these, Draco oft wished that Harry's plight be little than mere insanity.

_Christmas Day. _

_Cast me gently_

_Into morning_

_For the night has been unkind_

The laughter was softly receding from Harry's tired mind. The final ounce of strength left him, though he had been sleeping the monster left after sparring his memorys to find…something…a book of some sort.

Harry couldn't think of any vitally important book in his possession. He felt like a crippled old man, who wanted to lie in rest forevermore, yet _knew_ that battle had merely begun.

_And many miles before I sleep_

_And many miles before I sleep._

It was, however, a bright and cheerful morning and the brilliant sunshine seem to hand over to him some of the radiant happiness. Which was desperately needed for the poor boy, yet never truly admitted.

He would have thought of what day it could be for, it seemed like an age and an eternity since he had his own solitary silence. But it was not meant to be for, in came the forever morning happy Draco , pouncing on his bed and screaming delightfully "Happy Christmas!". And Harry wearily could not but grimace a smile in his gesture; for on the falling snow the memories fell into his mind and left as the joyous standard entered him like the tides of the rolling waves.

Nonetheless, he joined the merry festivities in the living hall and the large expansive tree, like a giantess of another hopeful spire, stood brightly in the warm baby sunshine. The silence was a gaping hole in the universe as if the spirits flitted across the width of the room for the instant afore the daylight reality.

Harry could the see the hill of presents gleaming in precocious innocence to be opened and treasured, or discarded as the owner wished to their own fancy. Harry could not recall ever holding such a symbolic relic as a present, the unmitigated joy that suffused the person upon opening such a mysterious token of appreciation.

But still, he had his own hoard of presents there in midst of the throng of wrapped boxes. He dared himself to at least acknowledge them. Reading the label on each thrice to a fourth time, before realizing it truly had been marked for him alone. Thus picking one up he stared at as the lost sailor upon the desired isle of no claim save his own.

Draco silently stared at the enraptured boy, with a mischievous gleam in his eyes dancing with a profound knowledge not privy to the selection of the time. He merely sat aside as the mesmorized boy rolled into the reality of a gift. His parents had yet to wake and watch the traditional rip and tear of countless presents; wrecked from their untainted glory.

Save for this one precious moment, he would not awaken them to wait to open the presents as usual. Harry unaware of all of this, slowly and cautiously opened the wrapped item. The small flaps at the end and gradually, through the body of the gift and finally revealing a plain box.

It contained none of the usual notes of well wishing thoughts and obviously the person whom imparted the gift. The plainly white and closed rectangular box layed in the crevice of the unwrapped paper on the floor before the bespectacled boy.

Slightly trembling, the apprehensive boy grasped the sides gently and lifted the cover of the plainly adorned box. Inside the Box, revealed itself a black, golden enscribed book of a hefty weight and generous content.

The boy felt the blood fall from his face, from his body as if the gravity of all the world had suddenly disappeared from beneath him. His slight trembling, increased into a dervish shudder.

The dream of some prophetic realm relinquished itself on Harry's mind like that of a cold shock of the bitter winter ice would assail the oblivious person as they stepped outside to the frozen atmosphere, unprotected by the requited material.

Finally the instinctive disbelief invaded him as he sharply turned to where the blonde enigma of a child sat curiously staring at the contents of his own box; seemingly ignoring any of the attentions of the other boy.

Harry let the cover drop and dreadful reality of the book in his presence fell into place. He could not touch the gift, the accursed artifact of a dream. A dream could it have been merely that? Had he not suffered the obstinate presence of a mysterious villan who conspicioulsy laughed and whispered thoughts into his mind? Yet the mere presence of the book inspired more trepidation than the sight of Voldemort or his uncle.

Still moments later it remained there almost as if determined to stay before the shocked boy. Glaring its mystery before him and entreating him to open its pages into the interior of the mystery.

But then, such thoughts or notions escaped his rationality as Mrs. Malfoy entered in the room. His hands deftly closed the box and stared composedly at the lady of the manor. She smiled gracefully and entreated them both to open their gifts.

The spell of the haunting had broken and the somber silence had faded into the murmers and exclamations of Draco and Harry opening the pile of gifts. The smiles and pleasant comments from Mrs. And Mr. Malfoy as they regained from the stupor of a deep sleep.

The book lay covered and enchanting its presented owner to glance at it ever so slightly without conspicuous attention.

Several books later, a picture frame, candy, cakes and robe, there came another anonmynous gift in the hands of Harry Potter.

With no further ado, he could not entreat his fears and trepidation over the blatant dominance of curiousity. That and that at this point, it had been the last present on the pile, he was watched by all the spectators in the room.

The final gift was enclosed in a faded black box, that seemed slightly tarnished with time and dust. It reminded Harry of the ancient tomes in the most isolated section of the library with dust and prestine lack of use that relinquished their gleaming enchantment for silent slumber until another hand should crease their spine and open their dusty pages and find something of interest or earnest desire in their forgotten pages.

There was however, a note in sharp and clear handwriting.

_It was left to me, and now I return it to the rightful owner._

_They never say what they are until it's time._

Therein lay a scarlet wreath with a pale blossom that smelled fresh as if recently picked but the twine encircling the blossoms was faded grey and silver stars adorned the general frame. Underneath lay a cloak of a strange silvery substance. This Harry could identify without doubt as a Invisibility Cloak.

Narcissisa stared at Lucius with a furitive glance. Had this crown of life dawned upon them some deep realization to this illusive mystery that layed in the name Potter? Remarkably none could see the woven ring in the pearly white blossom.

What had stumbled so innocently into the arms of a Christmas Day? The silence and gradual chatter would not tolerate the ever faint sound of singing soul whose lost life had but one holding, a child in the shadows.

_How far we are from morning_

_How far we are_

_And the stars shining through the darkness,_

_Falling in the air._

The snow was faintly falling as the boys left to the winter fantasy. Traipsed in the falling spectacle and playing as normal children often do; blind to the smiling laugh above the sounds of racous play and amnesia of the trouble ahead.

A Lady in the distance was there, a flitting spirit among the brightly shining flakes. Had she not moved Harry would not have seen her slight figure in the daylight storm. Had he not turned for a moment, he would seen her disappear in a flicker of the winter wind.

Perhaps he thought it was but a mere dream of some strange wanting. Yet the reality had just come in with the wintry spectacle, so fondly he held fast to the dream, forgetting later the Lady in the brilliance of the morning.

_The mindless center had unfolded_

_In the serenity of a smile_

_Doth the lady hold upon the silent child_

_And fading away_

_That smiling nymph_

_Hath all our hopes to hold._

**End of Chapter 5**

**A/N: **Yey five pages! Progress! -; Yeah, I added the cloak, I wasn't going to at first, but then I changed my mind; oh it's NOT who you might think it is, (Dumbledore) it's someone else.

**_Disclaimer_: Not owning HP,etc, Songs belong to Sarah McLaughlin, Enya, two lines of poetry are from Robert Frost "Stopping in the Woods…" and last poem is mine. **

**No Challenge Winner; **I didn't think it was that difficult -- okay, one more time:

_Mithras_

_>Find the Root of the word_. It is rather largely important to the plot

>>Reward to the First One to _review _with the answer:Besides giving you the "grand revelation" about Harry's true identity; I'll add three questions about anything in the story and/or the future course of the story.

: I'm going to be re-editing the story from ch. 1-8. It will take a while; but i'm not stopping the story to do this so; my updates will range from Fridays-Sundays.

**Next Ch: **What the book is; finally; Return to Hogwarts; Countdown to the showdown. Maybe a revelation about Draco.

-: Please Read & _Review!_

_Arigato_

_(thanks)_


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